Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Tuesday, 16 Sep 2008

Welcome!

Pirates are evil!!? The Marines are righteous!!?
These terms have always changed throughout the course of history…!!!
Kids who have never seen peace and kids who have never seen war have different values!!!
Those who stand at the top determine what’s wrong and what’s right!
This very place is neutral ground!!!
Justice will prevail, you say!?
But of course it will!!!
Whoever wins this war becomes justice!!!”

Donquixote Doflamingo, One Piece

Donquixote Doflamingo
Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 29 Jan 2010

Orientation

Year of Transit / January

My brother Joseph and I have had two families.
The first one… well let’s just say it didn’t work out too well.
But over the years, we made ourselves a new one.
And it was to this family, all of you, that his heart really belonged.

You see, a family is something that Joseph and I needed.
It offers protection from the outside world.
A world that never understood or appreciated what makes us different.

There are others like us out there, in the shadows, in the light.
Each grasping for a meaning in a world that won’t accept them for who they really are.
They, like us are blessed, gifted with extraordinary abilities.
And they like us struggle with finding their place in an ordinary world.

Haunted by their past from those who would harm them and keep them from their destiny.
Every one of them deserves a chance to be who they really are.

But to what end?
For what purpose?

Here in this place, we offer salvation.
We offer hope, we offer redemption.

And one by one, they will come to our side, to our family.
And they will find their way home.
And all who have gathered, will be strong.
And all who have gathered, will stand in unison.

I say it’s time we found our way back home again.
Find your way home, brother.

Samuel Sullivan

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 30 Oct 2009

Growth

Year of Reckoning / October

A lot has happened in this month. Most of it has to do with my feelings more than anything. My Sweet Doll, I love her so much, she makes me feel complete all the time. She gives me the motivation to do what I do even better than before. I cannot stress enough how bless I am to have her in my life, to be given this chance to love and be loved at the same time.

I made a long-distance relationship kit for her, along with a handwriten letter filled with colouful writings. That is something I would not usually do. In fact, I have never done anything like that before :) . But it feels great, to be able to fully give myself to My Sweet Doll. I would do anything for her, and more.

I started touring around this month to find the Abode. I have been having one on my mind for many months, since March to be exact. It is only now that I decide to pursue it for real. The Abode is the one I have been eyeing for awhile. I plan to bring My Sweet Doll to see it next month when she is here. I hope she would be pleased with it.

As far as career goes, I think I am adjusting to it better, yet not fully. Perhaps I need more time to get used to the environment around the place. After all, I do take longer than most people to adapt to new situations. With any hard work and luck, I hope everything will be fine.

Yet, I am feeling a certain discontent, despite that almost everything is going well. Do I feel this way because everything is smooth, because deep down, subconsciously, I am afraid all this may be taken away? Or, is it pure instinct, that another challenge may come along … I just feel nervous about something.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Saturday, 10 Oct 2009

Movie Review – Surrogates

Surrogates

Surrogates

I had high hopes for this aptly named movie Surrogates.  The idea that seemingly human-looking robots (or androids, for want of a better term) representing ourselves in the real world seem like an ideal solution to the current problems of the world – crime, discrimination, disability, and so forth. But it seems like that is not the message that the movie wants to portray. In fact, I am quite puzzled as to the whole point of the movie.

In the not-so-distant future it seems, 98% of the world population would utilise the use of surrogates in their daily life. The real humans would sit at home controlling their respective surrogates, from all things like talking, working, making facial expression, etc. It almost seem like an advanced gaming world. These surrogates obviously do not need toilets, they are recharged periodically, so I guess humans of these era would not have much use of public toilet.

Despite majority of the world adopting the use of surrogates, there exist a minority group bent on returning humans to the way it was before surrogates became the dominant so-called ‘addiciton’ of the human brains. They play an important part in the storyline, which I do not want to say further.

I would say the ending does pose me as much puzzle as seeing the behaviour of the main antagonist. But then, maybe it is me who does not understand science fiction movie these days. I do not know. The thought of controlling a surrogate from a comfortable chair while hardly moving for most of the time does not seem fun after a long while. But then, there were also people who used to say that computers were so complex nobody sane would use it, and we all know what happened to that.

So, go watch it, and decide for yourselves.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Saturday, 03 Oct 2009

Movie Review – Sorority Row

Sorority Row

Sorority Row

I have been so out of touch with movies lately. You know, I thought from seeing the title, I thought Sorority Row is a chick flick movie, but turns out to be a remake of 1983′s The House on Sorority Row, a low-budget movie made when I was just a little kid, so I cannot review that. But I can review this.

I felt a certain kind of similarity with the movie Prom Night, which portrays a bunch of high-school students getting murdered by a psychotic ex-teacher. Only, in this movie, replace high-school students with college students/graduates, and psychotic ex-teacher with mystery man. I cannot really spoil it by revealing who the mystery murderer is right :) . In any case, what I thought of as a horror movie turned out to be a thriller of sorts.

The simple plot is that there is this girl, Megan, played by Audrina Patridge, who decided, with the help of her friends, to pull a prank on her boyfriend, Garrett, played by Matt O’Leary, for cheating on her. In the ensuing prank, Megan was accidentally murdered by Garrett, who was wrecked with nervousness. The team, save for one, maybe two, decided to dump her body in a mineshaft. Eight months later, after graduation, each of the surviving students received a familiar message on their phone, to their horror. Shortly after that, the murdering trail happens.

I do not really enjoy these kind of movies, in some ways they are kind of pointless. What is more unbearable is seeing a bunch of college students with endless partying and sex and beer and all that, gosh, what is going on with the movie industry. They really should come up with nice, quality movies that actually have substance rather than random gore-inducing terror like this.

Yeap, you guessed it right, I do not like this movie at all. You know, I feel I wasted my money on this one. But, I was with friends, so I guess it is time well spent after all.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 25 Sep 2009

Honour

Year of Reckoning / September

It is amazing that how sometimes, no matter how difficult some things can be, humans have the ability to recover from them and come out stronger. All the heartaches, all the pain, all the sufferings that I have endured for the first part of the year have all seem to go away. And it is all thanks to My Sweet Doll, the one that has been with me through it all, even before it started.

Now, my life is turning its own new chapter, one which I am so content and happy with. My Sweet Doll, thank you very much for having me through all the pain that I have caused you. Now, you no longer have to worry about any doubt.

Year of Reckoning, it was hard for the first six moons. However, now, I am blessed with the love of someone very special. I can sense that the rest of the year might be a reckoning of goodness, perhaps for the good things that I have done.

Maybe it is balance, first six months signify reckoning of harshness, and the last six months symbolise reckoning of goodness. All is fair I suppose, if it comes to that. But then, there are still three months to the finality of this solar year. One which I hope will turn on a great scale into next year.

My Sweet Doll, I want you to be with me every step of the way. My mind, is now dedicated to you. And I will honour it in my heart to the very end. I feel so happy with you. Even though we are oceans apart, but I know you are beside me all the time. You are the one that shine my days, and warm my nights. You are the one that always make me happy, even though sometimes I worry too much :P . But that is only because I am so insanely happy in love with you.

Kisses and hugs.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 28 Aug 2009

Understanding

Year of Reckoning / August

Continuation of my good feeling seem to have no end this month. Well, I am not saying that everything is going fine, however, artistic point aside, I feel blessed.

One sad thing about this month is that I had to leave my old workplace. I had plenty of worthwhile memories there. Five and a half year is a long time to acquire certain life experiences. I met some of the best people there, whom a few become my best friends. I acquired a mentor there as well, one who always guide me well in the ever-challenging nature of the career-world, a world I seem to always find out of my grasp.

This is also the month that my Sweet Doll and myself officially a couple. Strange to write that down actually. Honestly, I feel like we have been together for a long time. Maybe because of the understanding that we have. I went to visit her again, though this time it was a short visit. As always, I can never get enough of her. Though the trip was short, it was lovely.

I began a new career elsewhere in this month as well. It has only been two weeks, so it is still early to comment on anything. But I like it there. I can feel that this will be good for me, though it can never be easy, I reckon. Learning comes naturally to me, adaptability, not as fast. That area is where my focus would be on I guess, for the next one year or so.

Serious talks aside, I did buy some new LEGO collections, which I am certain will be documented well in the other sections of my blog. Speaking of that, I have not actually started the LEGO blog yet. Time is always an issue, but let us see, I can probably get some inspiration from photo blogs.

In a few days will be beloved sister’s birthday, coincides with the National Day. This year, we are probably not looking at some major celebration. A more smaller, for family-oriented gathering is preferred.

Perhaps the second half of the year will see this Year of Reckoning in a better light. I certainly hope so. The first half has been terrible, almost to the brink of making me just wanting to quit everything. I thought Year of Hell was hellish – well, it certainly was – however the nature of the Year of Reckoning’s challenges is certainly drastically different than other years. We shall see what next month will bring. Hope this trend continues.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 31 Jul 2009

Silver

Year of Reckoning / July

The first half of the Year of Reckoning has been filled with near disappointment, as if I am being judged for all the bad things I have ever done, and I am suffering the consequences still. It was an extremely escruciating six months I have had to endure. Like ‘they’ say, there is always a silver lining somewhere. I did not believe that a few months ago, but now, maybe there is a light at the end.

I got a good news, an extremely good news near the beginning of the month. It is something I have been waiting for a long time. Not that long, just a few months, but still, it feels long. This would be an opportunity for me to advance well in the realm of career.

I also started something that I have highlighted in a previous post before. I finally bought a few LEGO sets and started assembling them. As of yet, writing a blog about them is probably the next logical step, but I have not yet started on it, or even have an idea how to begin. All in good time.

Things are starting to look good. I hope next month would foresee better things to come along. I have had enough over the past six months.

The highlight prob would be the fact that I have been ignoring one person that has been constant through out the last six months. That is my Sweet Doll. She is the one that has stayed true to me despite all the madness that I have imposed on her since last year. I want to know her more, I want to feel loving someone who really love me with all her heart. That would be my goal from now on :)

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 26 Jun 2009

‘They’

Year of Reckoning / June

Recovering has been slow and painful over the past few months. This month, I can feel that things may start looking brighter. Like, at least, I can see myself recovering. I hardly think about it anymore. I can see myself going through my daily activities like this is really my body I am inside. It does feel good to reconnect with who I am, before all this started. I have sacrificed too much, and gained nothing n return. In fact, I lost many things, but the worse part was that I lost myself in all those madness.

‘They’ say that all is fair in love and war. If you have gone through a major heartache, would you still agree with that statement. Even in war, there are rules; should that not be the same for love? I do not know, I am certainly not ‘they’.

Regardless, I can safely say that all of that is behind me now. There are new beginnings to explore. And that began early in the month, when I got a very good call, an extremely good call, one I have been waiting for about five weeks, I think. I will not go into details here, too early for any kind of confirmation, but if this turns out to be good, then of course, I will slightly mention about it.

This month, the highlight had to be the plan to meet up with someone I have been looking forward to. And I had plan this for months, for us to meet up, that is why I was there for such a long holiday.

I have been getting to know someone very special to me. She is the only one I do not have a definite nickname though thus far. Wait, that is not really correct, of course I do. But it is different. Different in a way that I rarely encounter situations where I am on the receiving end of something, if you get my meaning. That is what makes all of this special. The chance to really immerse myself in the feeling of being loved by someone unconditionally. That has to be lovely right.

Yes, this is the same special someone I have only briefly mentioned in past posts. And it is really not fair. This person has been with me through all my struggles since last year. Through happy and bad times. Though far, we share a common bond. It is only recently that I began to realise that I care for her more so than I originally thought, and I want to pursue it.

Six months have passed. Half a year. This seems like a good as time for a new beginning.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 29 May 2009

Island

Year of Reckoning / May

Recovery programme can sometimes be beneficial. Worry not, I am not undergoing any therapy. Just some good old-fashion vacationing. Beginning of the month, my best friend and among other new acquaintances went for vacation on an island.

You know me and island. I can never feel truly relax. But this is markedly different. For some reason, I could really let myself go and felt a certain calm that I have not felt in years. I even went for diving lessons, something I did not think of doing. I owe it all to my best friend for forcing me to come and even though I hesitated, but it turned out good for me.

Star Trek came out this month too, and it was more than I ever hoped it could be. Of course, I wrote a separate review on it here. The main point to highlight here is that it made me happy, the movie really exhilarated me to the point of looking back at my childhood playing with Star Trek figurines and here now, where my friends say positively about the movie, something a non-Trekkie would not do under normal circumstances.

There is another good thing that happened. I went to an event in Singapore, and this is really one of a kind. It is the Distant Worlds: Music from Final Fantasy orchestra concert. It is one thing to hear music that I love on one of my iPods, it is certainly another thing when you see about 200 extremely professional musicians play it on stage. It was truly exhilarating.

But all is not well when it comes to career. Adaptability is not my strong point, but over the years, I have compared myself to the experience of others and I would say that I fair quite well, but this is just different.

I am confronted with something that I cannot fight, or even make peace with. I am at a loss of motivation, something which has not happened in a while since a year ago. It is not something mysterious, I knew it was coming. But knowing it does not make it all the more easy to confront.

Perhaps, it is time to move on. Perhaps, my Long Vacation has come to an end. The Year of Reckoning keeps on putting me on my toes. But this month, good news and bad news seem to strike a certain balance.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 24 Apr 2009

Discovery

Year of Reckoning / April

Perhaps this month in the 2008′s Year of Reckoning is the hardest yet I have to endure. There seems to be little good news that come my way this month.

Beginning of the month was the hardest blow. A final closure was given, though I am at conflict whether to call it THE closure, since it was one-sided. However, knowing that whatever the case may be, nothing would ever change. And so, it does not matter whether it was a formal closure or not.

Career-wise, I am presented with a new, different scope. It is too early to say whether this is really what I want, but from the look of things, I foresee it as something I might not really want after all. But, what choice do Dream have? This is something that is really beyond control.

Sleep is a little better, I began to eat within normal parametres as well. Coffee, well, I can never get enough of those, but I have consumed ridiculous amount of caffein over the last few months. Does it help with heartbreak? I really do not know. All I know is that it keeps me vigilant.

It is funny. As I said before, I began to rediscover the person I was before all this started. I started doing back all the hobbies I used to do before all this started. Puzzle, LEGO, Discovery programme, video games, and the like. My time is filled up again, rather than before this.

Surely things could become better right? Well, I do not know. I must have done something terrible, a few terrible things, to receive this kind of reckoning.

For that reason, my best friend asked me to come along to an island vacation. I originally did not like the idea, but then, what the hell, nothing can make me feel worse than I already am.

So we will see how it goes.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 27 Mar 2009

Scar

Year of Reckoning / March

I still suffer from sleepless, eating disorder, and the like. This whole thing is ridiculous. I have never been so demolished my entire life. Everytime I try to close my eyes, I would see the vision that I so long to have but cannot have. Is it too much to ask for? All I ask for is a chance to prove myself. And yet, nothing happens.

Such is the terror of the Year of Reckoning. In the third month, it strikes me with even harder precision that makes me recoil back in horror of all the wrongdoings I have done.

Believe it or not, something special did happened to me. For a long time, there is a special friend that I really like. 08 Mar 2009 was the first date that we officially met face to face. It was beautiful. Though it was brief, but I held my hand high knowing that there is someone very special somewhere that care so much about me. And she came all the way here to see me … me, a nobody. I could not let that sacrifice go unrewarded.

Then it happened. Perhaps it was not the best decision I have made. I should know full well not to be involved in a relationship while I am on rebound. But it happened. And weeks after that, I realised that I was not being fair. I hurt someone’s feeling, a special girl, whom I really care for.

How could that happen? How could in all the madness that the Year of Reckoning is teaching me, I could still hurt someone? No wonder this happen to me. I just do not know the right thing to do. I have lost myself too much. I do not even know myself anymore sometimes. Do you know that feeling?

You look into the mirror in the morning. The face looks familiar, but you do not know anything about that person looking back at you. That is how it feels.

I am lucky that she still wants to befriend me. Deep down, I know I have hurt her so much. I am afraid it will be a lasting scar. But I really want to get to know her, to let love develop gradually in its own time. I have spent most of my life (concerning relationships) chasing after shadows. Perhaps it is time to let myself immersed within someone’s arm, someone who truly care for me. I want to know what it feels like to be loved.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 27 Feb 2009

Serpent

Year of Reckoning / February

I have lost all sense of control. I have never been so heartbroken ever in my life. I have never been so humiliated as well. Do you know how it feels like to bring yourself down, begging to someone?

Is proclaiming love something that is shameful? Are people just plain ignorance about the fact that it is ok to cherish someone you care for in public?

Do I deserve to be the target of harshed words? Trading swords for breads, that is what it is.

For the longest time in my life, I believe I am at a constant rate of not sleeping well, not eating well. Relations with everyone is scarce. I spent most time in my room, just pondering and staring blankly at that black spot on the floor. I do not even know what to do anymore.

I cannot move back, I cannot move forward. I am in a circle, a loop that is always spining and do not allow me to get off it. Never have I felt the blow of the Year of Miracle in its intensity.

I had that feeling since last year that this year is going to be one of those that is going to make me stand at the edge of a cliff. And I was proven correct.

I do not how to move on from here. I know one day I will, nobody wants to be miserable their whole life, but it would probably take something that I have not done before. Or something I have never experienced before.

Posted by: dreamofdestiny | Friday, 06 Feb 2009

Uncharmed

It is a pity when a gift is rejected. The amount of time spent in silence to come up with the theme of the gift, the time spent choosing the appropriate look and feel, and the time spent to ensure that the person meant for the gift receives it. For the sender, all he wants to see is the look of happiness and joy on the receiver’s face. Yet it never come. What’s in its place is rebuttal, anger, and rage, that made the sender feel guilty.

One can say that the pain that the sender feels is so deep. To be torched about in open about something that he has planned, yet to find it unappreciated. Can one understand the pain? The pain that made him sleepless every night, the pain that made him lose muscles, the pain that causes the heart to be weak.

Does anyone know that the sender has been dreaming about the receiver for almost every night since that day they decide not to see each other again? Dreams, nightmares, maybe they’re not so different after all. It still makes the sender wakes up in the middle of the night, and could not go to sleep again. Lost his concentration, trying to look happy in public but inside, his heart is wrenching with thoughts unspoken.

It is a pity, to see someone like that. Have you ever come across any?

Older Posts »

Categories

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.